Sen. Rand Paul, R-Ky., took to Twitter today in his second annual “airing of grievances” in celebration of “Seinfeld’s” trademark holiday, Festivus.
HAPPY FESTIVUS! May ur pole be straight, ur feats be strong & your grievances be few. With love from the Costanzas – Frank, Estelle, George
— jason alexander (@IJasonAlexander) December 23, 2014
Christmas is a time for joy. For sharing blessings w/family & friends. It is not a time to air grievances. That’s what #Festivus is for. — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
I’ve got a lot of problems with you people (mostly in DC), and today you’re going to hear about it! Stayed tuned for #Festivus grievances — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
And so it began…
First, politics in general: As a Doctor, I was trained first to do no harm. Wouldn’t it be nice if politicians started from that premise? — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
But we get”politics is the art of looking 4 trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly&applying wrong remedies.” #Festivus — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
Paul then pointed to his bipartisan efforts with Sen. Cory Booker, D-N.J.
Last year in the spirit of #Festivus, I reached out to @CoryBooker complaining he didn’t RT me enough. He still doesn’t by the way. But… — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
We discussed hemp, med marijuana, crim justice reform. Some of that has now passed, all of it we’ve worked on together this year #Festivus — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
My grievance there though remains the same. Not enough looking for agreement in Washington. @CoryBooker and I will keep trying.#Festivus
— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
On to my side of the aisle…#Festivus — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
No matter how many times I ask @Team_Mitch, he won’t let me borrow this awesome sweater vest pic.twitter.com/VACHu6RdVY
— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
We all know having a fashion forward campaign is important to success, as @RickSantorum showed us in 2012 #Festivus pic.twitter.com/qAeGIp2wpo — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
Of course, everyone has to be themselves, and I have my own style. I think this will be a popular item this year pic.twitter.com/ejuPwOAb6E — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
This year @MotherJones named me best dressed in Washington. Of course everyone else is wearing a blue suit, so it isn’t really a contest. — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
But he quickly moved on to tease Rubio, another 2016 potential who stole headlines this week for contesting Paul’s support of Obama’s Cuban plan.
Tempting to air a grievance @marcorubio again, but we’ve done that enough for this week. Instead I will say an early Merry Christmas.
— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
To my friends in the media, since I know you like to focus on substantive, important, weighty ideas… #AiringOfGrievances — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
The hair is real & mine. Don’t know why ur fascinated with it or compare it to alien life forms. #AiringOfGrievances pic.twitter.com/Vl5JvS2h2N
— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
I mean it looks nothing like these things. #AiringOfGrievances pic.twitter.com/hjDqOaOMAl
— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
I am also kinda mad that you seem to think @LyleLovett has better hair than me. #AiringOfGrievances — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
In honor of my good friend @TomCoburn I will now tell u some of my grievances about government waste of YOUR tax $$ #AiringOfGrievances — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
For some reason your government spent your money to learn poop throwing chimps are better communicators. #AiringOfGrievances — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
Your government spent $387,000 of your money on Swedish massages for rabbits. #AiringOfGrievances — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
Your government spent over $300,000 to study synchronized swimming in sea monkeys. Say that 3 times fast. #AiringOfGrievances
— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
Your state dept spent $90 MILLION on cultural exchanges, including state department idol and band camp. #AiringOfGrievances
— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
Last one, because I could do this all day. Your government literally spent $10,000 to watch grass grow. #AiringOfGrievances — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
To my friend @SenatorReid , wishing you a long and fruitful tenure as minority leader #sorrynotsorry #AiringOfGrievances — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
And alluded to Kentucky Democratic Senate contender Alison Lundergan Grimes’ refusal to admit whether she voted for President Obama in 2008 and 2012.
I am still wondering who @Alison4KY voted for. #AiringOfGrievances — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
He then took a quick break.
If you’re wondering what I look like right now while #AiringOfGrievances is going on, sorta like this… pic.twitter.com/9VVLSKn7QM
— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
Back to grievances. Along with ridiculous wastes of $ we’ve already aired, the gov’t makes some dumb regulations. #AiringOfGrievances — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
Did you know you could go to jail in DC for 90 days for giving a tour without a license? #AiringOfGrievances (h/t @businessinsider ) — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
And don’t even try to sell raw milk without a license. #AiringOfGrievances
— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
14 million hours will be spent every year to make sure you know how many calories are in vending machine food #AiringOfGrievances
— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
By the way that vending machine regulation is from #Obamacare #AiringOfGrievances. But I would still like to blame Nanny Bloomberg
— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
He went back to the nature of politics.
Politics doesn’t involve enough puppies. People like puppies. #AiringOfGrievances pic.twitter.com/vgOAa5Iqf9 — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
And finally, he tweeted about another favorite, the Fourth Amendment.
4th Amdt Grievance. The Obama Administration’s idea how to deal w/ the Patriot Act and the NSA spying on Americans pic.twitter.com/A0yx2PtsyS — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
FYI for @BarackObama and a few others (you know who you are) here is what it says #AiringOfGrievances pic.twitter.com/rV1YtgG3vs — Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014
So marks the end of Paul’s Festivus celebration.
The #Festivus #AiringOfGrievances is done. So now, from my family to all of you, have a Merry Christmas! pic.twitter.com/usYgcExwf7
— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2014